As many of you know I have been really struggling with the idea of going back to work. There is a huge part of me that really wants to be working again as in today’s day and age being seen as not working is unacceptable and labelled as laziness. I can hear you all thinking “but Amy, you have M.E! ” and you would be right, but that doesn’t stop people being cruel with their words. Every time someone asks me what it is I do and I tell them I don’t work at the moment due to illness I see that look, the look of “well you don’t look ill”. The worst is when people say ” so when do you think you will be well enough?”. I feel like screaming when people say that, cause if I knew the answer to that then I’d probably also know the answer to this weeks lotto numbers and I’d be a millionaire. The other part of me however knows I am nowhere near well enough to be going back to work full times as some days just getting out of bed takes everything I have, so I can’t imagine trying to add in a shift at work as well.
Recently on the days that I have been feeling well enough, I have been clearing out my old craft boxes. I have so much scrapbooking stuff that the attic was starting to get a bit cluttered with all my boxes full of old papers, pencils, paint etc , so I thought it was about time I got it all sorted. While going through the boxes I came across some of my old Jewellery making findings, I had completely forgotten I still had them. It got me thinking about what I should do with all of them and the more I went through box after box the more I thought I could totally start making little bits of Jewellery again. I found lots of loose beads, gemstones, silver wire, earring hooks and post and realised that I really did have everything I needed to make this idea a reality. I have been slowly making fun little earrings, two or three at a time, and it’s been so much fun getting back into what I have always loved doing, which is creating things.
Nick and I came up with the name Buttons and Sam over breakfast one morning. I’d thought about calling my little business Sam’s buttons but it just didn’t have the right ring to it. Nick suggested Buttons and Sam and I loved it. I sent away for a business stamp to be made and when it finally arrived Buttons and Sam was officially created.
I have spent the past two months, at a bit of a snails pace, making up a back stock of button earrings and brooches. I am going to start small and work at a nice steady pace so there isn’t any pressure on myself. I want this little business to be a real pleasure not a chore and I want it to be something which will help improve my health not make it worse. Once I have the Jewellery side of it sorted in my head and down on paper, I am going to start making little bits of home design too. I made my first sample piece which is a Christmas decoration, yes I am aware it’s only March, the other day and was really pleased with how it turned out.
This whole venture has really given me the boost I needed in both motivation and self confidence. M.E takes so much from a person and leaves you feeling quite broken and useless. I am however not going to allow it to make me feel this way and I will be sorry if I let other, who judge my earthly worth, make me feel that way too. Buttons and Sam may only be a small attic business but to me it feels a lot like I am concording the world.
You can find my creations at www.etsy.com/uk/shop/ButtonsAndSam