This past week has been a mixture of good and bad. I’ve had a rubbish health week but it’s been good to have the time to reflect on why it’s been such a bad week after having such a good month health wise. Part of recovering from M.E is seeing what triggers your bad bays and then avoiding it like the plague.
Part of the reason my health has been affected so much this past week is my lack of asking for and accepting help when I need it. I feel like it’s a weakness asking for help. That somehow it shows that I’m not strong enough to do this on my own. Stupid isn’t it especially when I encourage fellow spoonies to ask for help as much as possible. I don’t believe people should ever have to struggle alone.
When the millions missing campaign was run along side M.E week it gave me a great opportunity to get to know more people like me who struggle everyday with Chronic illnesses. One of the major topics we all talked about is how we all need more help and need to get better at asking for it without feeling guilty. The more I chatted to people the more I realised why we don’t ask for help and why we feel so guilty about asking for it. The reason is that we have all had to fight for a long time to get our diagnosis. For most of us it has taken years and within those years we have been told time and time again that “it’s all in your head” , ” you are just depressed” or ” you are just being lazy go excerise and you will feel better” .
Having those things spoken to you of course knocks you down, makes you start doubting yourself, doubting your own body and makes you feel awful asking for help as you are made to feel like a drain when you do. I’m so thankful that even after all of these things being said thi community hasn’t been knocked down and that it has campaigned even harder to have its voice heard. We are finally starting to get people to sit up and listen. To actually take noice of how badly Chronic illnesses can effect you. Best of some of the old stigma that was attached to M.E, CFS, Fibro etc is now finally being shown to be total rubbish and just a bunch of lies. I’m hoping with time and better general understanding of M.E that joe public will start to see us not as lazy non workers but as unbelievablely strong people who battle everyday with a crippling illness but still manage to look after our families.